Love is Bitterness
by Bobbs SG
Summary: Love is a hug, Love is a kiss, Love is a look, Love is bliss, Love is more and never less, but to me Love is bitterness. I've continued this story with a second chapter in honor of xxPerfectMistakexx's birthday on august 18th, so everyone go wish her a happy birthday! and enjoy this story that went from NaLu hurt/comfort to StiLu fluff!
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I DONT OWN FT!**

**P.S. this is in Lucy's P.O.V.**

_Love is a hug_

I watched from my seat at the bar as he leaned into her bringing her closer to him, holding on to her for dear life, molding her to his body by way of a breath taking hug, his strong arms wrapping around her protectively. They are both smiling and blushing and they can't let go of each other.

I feel my chest start to squeeze and hurt.

_Love is a kiss_

When they finally pull away from each other, I feel like I can breathe a little easier, that is until he starts leaning towards her once again and my chest constricts again, because their cheeks are even redder and his eyes are closing and I don't want to watch anymore but my eyes are glued to them as their lips meet and they can't separate once again.

And now my chest hurts _and _my eyes begin to sting.

Love is a look

When they do finally separate they just stare at each other and into each other's eyes memorizing the moment for future memories of happy times, memorizing each other, just staring at each other with such passion.

And I want to cry because I've fantasized about him looking at me that way I've wished upon a million stars for just a glance of his smoldering onyx eyes.

_Love is Bliss_

They looked so content with each other, as if they were in some other world where only they existed and they held each other to the ground and to the moment, he looked so lovingly happy with her and she looked at peace with him, just like childhood friends living out their biggest dream, each other.

And it hurts too much.

_Love is more and never less_

I kept on looking and glancing their way seeing him smile with so much happiness almost made me happy too, because it showed that this love he had found in the petite white haired girl gave him so much more than anything ever had, and the look on her face stated the same thing about him.

I know the feeling well; it was how I almost felt whenever I was around him, even if it was just as his best friend.

_But to me…_

I hated this, this pain in my chest, the constant stinging in my eyes, the want, and the need. I hated feeling this jealous, it made me feel disgusting; it made me hate the skin above my bone and the heart beneath my chest; the feeling of one-sided love brought along this horrible pain and this disgusting jealousy. I wanted to jump off a cliff or at least leave for a little while, just until I stop loving him. But when I face reality, I absolutely know that because of his kind heart, warming smile, and never back down attitude, I could never stop loving Natsu.

And that fact, that one simple fact, makes me hurt even more.

Makes me feel bitter, so terribly bitter that I just can't handle it.

I'm so tired of hating and hurting and envying that I'm starting to believe that the cliff isn't a completely bad idea.

_Love is Bitterness_


	2. Maybe, just maybe

**Okay so, I'm making a continuation of this story for my best friend xxPerfextMistakexx go check out her account at u/4998667/xxPerfectMistakexx**

**Happy Birthday Steph, luv ya, have the greatest day ever!**

**(She hardcore crack!ships StiLu [****_is that even the right way to say it?] _****anyway here ya go!)**

XXXxxxXXXxxxXXX

She never would though, never would take the next step, because she is Lucy a Fairy Tail mage, living, breathing, and fighting among the strongest. She acknowledged the hurt in her heart and accepted it. And who cares if on some nights she cries and sobs, who cares because she certainly doesn't.

It's not in her rights to take life away, not even her own, plus she finds it incredibly _stupid _to want to do something so drastic because a _guy,_ she'll get through this pain just like she got through the pain her mother's death caused, or the pain of her father's cruelty, and she was even able to get over the pain of his death; it all still resides in her, and this will too, but she is stronger that any pain.

Still, she hikes her way up to a particularly high cliff edge on some weekends and just sits there with her feet dangling over, it's how she copes and temporarily escapes. Can anyone really blame her for falling out at the seams over something so small, she's had the two most important people to her ripped from her hands and another one just left too, yet he's still so close.

Levy worries about her, she was told about a time Lucy almost did step off the ledge by said blonde, it was back when her mother died and her father began neglecting her, she was seriously tempted but was thankful that she convinced herself otherwise, now she only goes up to that stupid cliff edge when she's overly sad, and Levy can do nothing to help because Lucy refuses to allow her to come; it's her private spot after all.

And now she sits there, unshed tears brimming in her eyes, staring at the un-forgivablefate below, she giggles a bit, that idiot infuriated her and she's crying over him and his new girlfriend. She lies back onto the floor, feet still hanging over into the open air, swinging as if she could run straight to the clouds and drop her worries like the garbage they are. Her mind is occupied by thoughts of her spirits, her friends that could never leave, she smiles, thinking a solo-mission could make her feel a little better, but Natsu wouldn't let her, he was determined to go with her and bring Lisanna along. Lisanna just smiled and apologized for intruding; she was always so kind and definitely deserved a guy like Natsu.

It's at this point she hears footsteps approaching, she gives an irritated sigh refusing to open her eyes, urging the ever present tears hiding behind her eye-lids to relinquish their hold on her. She hears a smooth voice give a groan as the intruder lowers himself to sit next to her. Now she opens her eyes, she has no recognition of this voice, yet it sounds strangely familiar, he didn't make enough sound for her to really catch who he sounded like. But now she knew, because there he sat, on leg hanging over the edge and the other had his knee pressed against his chest, she only happened to notice that he was missing his shirt and was only wearing his strange black and white pants (and that's absolutely not why she blushed!) quickly moving her eyes up to his face she noticed he was looking out over the scenery of Magnolia's forest.

Lucy gave out another irritated sigh, "Natsu not here, he's at guild" she closed her eyes again, trying to find the peace she had lost, "I know where Natsu is, I already found him, but he was too distracted with his girl to fight, lucky for him I caught your scent before I gave him a good hook" he smirked, still not looking at her, "why would my scent stop you in your tracks" she sounded annoyed, "I don't know, it just did, don't get the wrong idea blondie" Lucy looked at him about to spit words of indignation but the words became stuck in her throat as she noticed the soft blush on his cheeks, "anyways I found you here and you seemed lonely" instead of answering him she referred to something he had said previously, "so Natsu didn't want to fight? Lisanna must be something real special, I've never really seen anyone stop Natsu from fighting of his own will" there was no mirth in her voice and Sting took note of it, "honestly I thought you were his girl" Lucy said nothing to this another thing he noticed, "so~" he said awkwardly, "do you always come up here when your upset?" "Is it that obvious?" he decided not to answer, but finally he turned his deep blue eyes to face her staring at her bewilderedly, shaking his head he stood up and smiled down at her offering his hand, "why don't you come out to eat with me? it'll get your mind off of that pink haired idiot because yes it is that obvious" Lucy smiled up at him, how could this guy who seemed to be a complete jerk be so sweet to her, she laughed gently accepting his hand and standing up, "okay I'll go, but it doesn't mean you're any less of an idiot than he is" and with that said she began walking in front of him a slight blush on her face, "You're right, I'm a huge idiot, but I know not to ignore what's right in front of me" and with that he ran off after her swinging his arm over her shoulder.

She still feels pain and losing her _first _love to someone else, but Sting is a good painkiller, she doesn't love him _yet,_ but he is devoted to her as one of her new best friends, and maybe just maybe love can still blossom.


End file.
